In what he considered to be a ridiculous request from the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality, a county judge from The Lone Star State has responded in writing after being asked to investigate whether the owner of a hunting cabin allowed his patrons to answer nature’s call in the nearby woods and fields.
The state’s top environmental office received a complaint in early March, alleging that a Thornton resident was leasing a cabin to hunters that was not furnished with a toilet, so that hunters had to relieve themselves au naturale.
When the complaint was assigned to Limestone County Judge Daniel Burkeen, he offered his commonsense—and hilarious—response.
“We have had some delay in our investigation of the incidents alleged in the complaint which you kindly forwarded to us,” Judge Burkeen wrote. “The problem is, we have recently had a rash of reports of cows, horses, sheep and goats defecating at will in pastures throughout the county.”
Further, the judge suggested that in addition to hunters and livestock, “we suspect that wild hogs, deer and all sorts of other animals are defecating without even trying to find a proper facility.”
Yes, the news might have come as quite a shock to the Commission on Environmental Quality, but lots of critters—hunters included—do their business in the woods.
In an interview this week with the regional legal journal, The Southeast Texas Record, Judge Burkeen said his reply has become something of an Internet sensation, and he’s received comments of support from across the country.
“It’s all been positive,” Judge Burkeen told the publication. “Citizens that have had to deal with state agencies were especially (entertained).”
By the way, while given the opportunity, the judge also took an easy shot at federal bureaucrats at the conclusion of his correspondence.
“Lastly, please allow us to handle this at the local level, and do not involve the federal government. When it comes to matters of excessive defecation, Washington bureaucrats would only add to our misery.”
All we can say is, on the subject of number two, we think Judge Burkeen is number one!